World Cupping

  • By Andy Strapz work


Now don’t get me wrong, I love an international sporting event as much as the next fan but…..

When those contests are judged by tiggy-touch-wood video replays as a participant trips over the laces of an opponent’s boot, it irks me like a toothache. When the world championship is decided by some poor bugger having a ball kicked at them from 10 metres in a penalty shootout, it borders on illegitimate.

Don’t get me started on the ‘dive’!

As a long serving Emergency Nurse, I was always aware that Continental chaps were more likely to be a wooz that their more Anglo counterparts but come on! Michele Pirro steps off a Ducati on the main straight of at Mugello at some 300 klicks, pops up and dusts himself down (when he came to). Meanwhile, our round ball mega millionaire hero, Pissanty Roundballio, trips over a white line on the edge of the box and rolls about as if he’s lost his foot to a landmine while gripping his head due to an aneurysm in full throw. Bullshit I call!

A Rugby League player may actually play on sans foot but they aren’t all leading thinkers, are they? AFL players are allowing the dive into their game and need Jacko back to smack ‘em into line.

If the dive makes it into bike racing I could see Rossi running off and diving into the kitty litter with the help of Marquez exhaust fumes. Then theatrically rolling and rolling all the way back to the pits in an attempt to get a ride though penalty for the Spaniard.

The Round Balls Up World Cup’s major sponsor needs to be a cement company, referees doubled up like the AFL, in extra time bench the goalies and let the Pommy fans at the divers. I’d watch that!

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